Chopsticks and Lions

Every time I go to a restaurant here, the ladies always bring me a fork.  I'm pretty sure that's a little racist, because I actually love eating with chopsticks.  When they drop the fork on my table, I always send it back for chopsticks and they give me the strangest look.  Is it so wrong for a white guy to want to use chopsticks??  I will not be happy until one day I walk into a restaurant here and they give me chopsticks first.  Why am I judged by the color of my skin and not by the content of my character/utensil usage propensities??? 

So one of the funnier things I have learned about this country is their affinity for lions.  Everywhere you look, there are t-shirts about Singapore and they all have a damn lion on them.  I needed to get to the bottom of this, so I asked my good buddy Matt what the deal was.  Apparently Singapore literally translates to "city of lions."  The name was given to the country by whichever British explorer came over, and thought he saw a lion.  In Matt's words "It was not a lion, there are no lions in this country, if anything it was just a big cat or something."  Regardless, the country stuck with the name and now every single mascot for every event or building or school is a lion.  Their football (soccer) team is called the Lions.  The country's mascot is... a lion.  When the Youth Olympic Games was here a couple years ago, they had a government meeting to decide what the mascot of the event would be.  They asked for 4 suggestions so they could get a few options.  3 of the 4 suggestions were lions.  The 4th suggestion was a mixture of a mermaid and a lion called... the Merlion.  I am not making this up.  So now, the mascot for the games and the Slingers I might add is a fish with a lion's head.  The Merlion.  I really wish I was joking. They are obsessed with lions.

One of the ladies who works at the security desk at our office (older lady, very sweet) has taken it upon her self to invite me everywhere she is going during my stay in this country.  Apparently she did the same thing for Andy (the previous intern here last year).  She is also known as the matchmaker of the office, and already has a list of girls (the rejects Andy did not find suitable)  she wants to introduce me to (which means marry).  I politely smile and think of reasons that I cannot come out with her, but it will only last for so long.  Eventually I am going to be bombarded with potential Singaporean wives, and no one in the office is helping me escape my fate.  They are all too busy laughing and relishing the fact that her attention is not on them.  Rest assured, I will not come back to school married as I have no plans on beating Prashant to the altar. 

I have attached a picture of my Singaporean business card (or name card as they call it here).  Number 1, I did not choose the title of my job, it was written in by management.  I'm not saying they didn't ask me if that's what I wanted, but it wasn't my idea.  Number 2, when you hand a business card to someone in this country, you are supposed to hand it with both hands and bow when you do. (screwed that up)  Number 3, upon receipt of said business card, you are supposed to also receive with both hands (crap) and then bring the card up to your face and study it for at least 3 Mississippi's.  (Strike 2) Number 4, you are not allowed to put the card away until the end of the meeting, you are supposed to keep the card in front of you on the table.  I am assuming this is because if you forget the persons name, its right there on the card.  So basically I have failed every test with business cards so far, but at least I am learning.  But hey, if I ever do something wrong, I can always just strike up a conversation about lions.